How to be a Great Software Engineering Manager? P2

Question

Hey, junior swe with aspirations to be engineering manager one day. I posted something a while back and wanted to follow up about what happened in a convo I had with a more senior person on my team.

I asked someone I work with if they'd be open to mentoring me and help me be a software engineering manager. The reason I think it's a fit is because 1) I enjoy helping and working with people, 2) I am a "roll me sleeves up" kind of person, and 3) the comp is nice lol.

One of the things they offered was mentoring an intern. I thought that was a great idea so I'm waiting to see how things pan out for the Fall. I'm pumped! Thank you guys for the tips.

Curious how you build relationships on the team and across the org. I dont do politics. Can we all just get along and work towards a goal we agree on?

original thread in case others are in a similar path:

https://www.levels.fyi/community/thread/5sli46/how-to-be-a-great-software-engineering-manager

beakln82NJ · Accepted Answer

If you find yourself leading a team, you might suddenly be the boss of people you used to be on equal terms with. That’s a tricky situation that can be difficult to manage if you dont already have a relationship with them.

I think you need to balance "professional" time with "personal" time. Professional time would be interacting regularly on projects directly related to work. You get a feel for how they think, you can build synergy and discover areas where you clash. Personal time would be like discovering you have similar fandoms and being able to bond over non work stuff. Gotta be careful how much you want to share obvi, but it's a way to build friendship which will help when you guys need to support each other on projects.

g89u1knBgvcw · Answer

Interns can be hit or miss so dont set your expectations too high. I think the best thing you can do is evaluate your own leadership skills. Things like, how do you set expectations? Do people feel comfortable asking questions if they need help? Are you available often? What happens if they mess up or dont meet your expectations? Stuff like that.

hilowball · Answer

That's great! The person who recommended that knows what they are talking about. One of my first management opportunities came similarly when I got paired with 2 interns. The biggest hurdle was making sure I could manage MY time AND THEIR time. Interns are like deer in the headlights and you're going to have to help them figure out a lot.

wno931nijHVd3 · Answer

If you're trying to build rapport with your mentor, I'd recommend figuring out when you'll have regular check-ins, especially if you're not working together directly. Having regular contact time is important, especially if opportunities come up. You want to be top of mind.

If you're trying to have come quality time with people who report to you, you need to find a way to put the team at ease. Help them see you as a colleague versus a boss. I've found that to be the biggest hurdle to clear. When people are used to their supervisor using their title to make people listen, it's hard to build that sense of friendship. People wont be authentic versions of themselves and that isn't a good foundation to build relationships on.

The sooner you can put your own guard down and show your team who you are, the sooner they will let their guards down and allow you to see them for who they really are.

How to be a Great Software Engineering Manager? P2

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