Parental Leave

Question

For these companies that offer several months of parental leave, what’s your strategy?

At my last company, for my first child, I had three months and I spread it out over the course of the year, so I would do one month off, two months on. So each quarter I was only away for one month of the quarter.

I realize that it’s time that the company gives you, and it really shouldn’t be a concern, but I do feel like it’s a double-edged sword. Being away for huge chunks of time detracts from your relevance and impact on the team and can feel like you’re out of sight, out of mind. Conversely, context-switching and thrashing being away versus back from parental leave seems like it could be disruptive as well.

Oe198NYff47 · Accepted Answer

This is a tough one and I think it'll depend on your company culture. I just left my last startup for a new startup (a little bigger) because the parental leave and benefits were better. TMI- my new company pays for certain treatments I need for family planning which my other company did not. I could tell from the beginning they had a much more family friendly culture.

I would suggest talking to HR first to know what the actual policy is and then seeing what other parents have done so you have something to negotiate your time with your supervisor.

qwerty12345asdfg · Answer

TL;DR: Take as much as possible as ealier as possible.First thing, I’m in Germany, where by law, parents have a total of 14 paid months to be split as desired by the couple; general conditions are: the salary (paid by the state) is around 60% and also has an upper limit; each parent have to take at least two months and a maximum 12. In my origin country, I would have at most seven days (by law 3).PS: I did not say the entire details, nor is my intention to explain German law here. It is just the minimum for context.When my first kid was born, I took 3 months starting from day one. It was the best thing I did for my personal life.The participation that I was able to have in my child's life was huge, which included changing diapers, cooking special menus, trying to find crazy ways of making a baby laugh, and, whenever possible, trying to make the baby sleep - so the mother could do the same. During this process, I learned a lot about myself and how I can understand my child and feel (minimally) comfortable understanding and creating some strategy to do with what is to come.I also found paternity leave very useful because, as a fresh new parent, I had no reference for what is normal or not for a new human being. Questions like: Is that way of rolling normal? Is vomiting in this situation okay? Is this amount of sleep ideal? Will fulfill your head, and whenever possible, I was jumping onto the internet, books, and asking friends (which are parents, doctors, or just close friends), so I could feel (again, minimally) comfortable and know my next steps.Once my second child was born, I was fresh new in the job (14 days) and afraid of “losing the opportunity” I took 1 month from day 1 and another month from the 6th month.The experience was completely different, worst, I would say. These small little beings are entirely different from each other. Throw away everything you learn and relearn. Sure, you have more knowledge on some topics, but new ones will appear. In my case, the second one have lactose intolerance, and a lot of different questions showed up, also, the diet of the entire family changed. The most crucial, I had a clear perception of less understanding of the second one and even of being less meaningful for the child. In other words, you will have fewer smiles and will not be the reference person for the child.In my opinion, you may change your job from time to time. The chances are that you will do it every 2 to 5 years. You (probably) will not change your family, or at least not at the same pace. Work opportunities are there, and especially in IT, they will still be there (maybe in a different team or company).

KaczKL7wBmWhbZzXhs · Answer

Parental leave is just as disruptive as maternity leave. Why do you think the females take it hard and difficult to get pregnant, for those who are in higher ladder of workplace. Maternity/parental leave does damage the career growth in that same year in terms of impact and performance. It is unfortunate. My strategy? Just take all of the given leave as early and try to balance it all. For my experience, I had my “co-lead” role taken by colleague. It took some months for me to get back to speed and take the control of my team.

HappyHippo · Answer

When my first child was born I took three weeks off right away and then got approval to take the rest of my leave one day at a time (approximately every Friday) until I used it up. Not sure if this is more common today but at the time it was unorthodox and needed a bunch of approvals but it was a great arrangement for my job and for my home life.

Parental Leave

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