Is there some secret American culture specific rituals I’m missing?

Question

I go to NYC office at a tech company as sde1, none of my teammates are here.

Everyone is American mostly women, they have these mini groups where people know each other, talk about their vacations and family, go to dinner or drinks together, etc. (not eaves dropping but they literally talk loud around me)

They all talk like they know each other and it looks like they are all part of same or adjacent teams

I’m M27 (but look younger then that because of no beard), I dress good, use cologne, use deodorant bar, shower everyday, keep a decent haircut

If I’m gonna be able to make friends outside of my work team, there ain’t gonna be much fun in life

BigChungus · Accepted Answer

Bro came to levels to ask how to make friends 💀

19g615l3awwikl · Answer

Just ask to join a small group  for lunch if there’s at least one you vibe with at all, and avoid interrupting or bragging, don’t make things about yourself just listen actively and don’t get too deep- it’ll happen on its own

ThatguyOverthere · Answer

Go make friends outside of work. Work friendships usually don’t last long. Know that you need to be liked by your coworkers to maintain longevity especially during layoffs but usually you will only end up liking one of two of your coworkers, maybe even three.

singsong · Answer

Give a friendly smile of acknowledgement as you see people around and if you're in a break room say things like hey or hi there if someone comes in.. small gestures like that create the opportunities for casual conversations to arise. You can ask about their teams, their work, their background (maybe they switched careers to tech recently, maybe they are a decade in..) etc etc. and eventually you'll be part of these conversations you hear. Idk how appropriate it would be to ask to go out for drinks or dinner if it's a female coworker though. I did that  with a female coworker because we would talk all the time and it seemed like she'd be into seeing the night life, but I regretted it because I think she thought it was weird. She politely declined but it just seemed off.

BraveBird · Answer

I read these questions here and there, and I don’t understand why “shower everyday” is often mentioned.

Is there some secret American culture specific rituals I’m missing?

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